I recently watched a documentary on monkeys, observing two alpha males duke it out in a big fight. One emerged victorious while the other retreated. After nursing their wounds, life returned to normal. The winner gained the status of the top dog, while the loser hung around alone for a while before accepting the supremacy of the victor. He assumed a submissive role, even grooming the winner at times. Such understanding is crucial for survival in the wild, but it comes with a price.
As human beings, we face similar situations. Whether alpha or beta, we’ve created an unseen but real big brother who dictates how we should live within the law of the land. Like monkeys, we live in groups with their own governing systems, sometimes vastly different. With animal instinct, we try to dominate each other, leading to conflicts. Our wars can last decades or centuries, and now we possess weapons of mass destruction. It’s not a rosy picture because emotionally charged behaviors persist, not only individually.
For our local internal conflicts or social peace, we rely on the justice system, law enforcement, and jails. The presence of the big brother prevents us from killing each other, but everyday problems remain unsolved. If we all develop personal ethics and morality tied to individual spirituality, we could regulate ourselves personally. This individual awareness of spirituality is the best way to reduce crimes. Since we can’t have a police officer for every individual, such education is necessary in all societies. It can help us understand that other human groups are human too, making us one entity, humanity. That’s if you believe that God lives through us, and we’re all expressions of God.
All social ills, wars, and prejudice-related crimes stem from our free will. We can choose to become aware of individuality or follow trends, friends, society, race, gender, nation, or religion.
At times, as human beings, we’d rather suffer, become depressed, or even commit suicide if we can’t win in the rat race of life. The reason behind this behavior is that individually, our sense of belonging overwhelms us, preventing us from balancing it with a sense of freedom or using our common sense. Yes, that old sense of belonging. This intellectual phenomenon undermines our nature and compels us to live in isolation, even in a concrete jungle.
It’s all about flexibility, adaptation, wisdom, and understanding mortality. Why does a so-called lower form of life outwit human beings, especially when it comes to being a social creature like monkeys? Where else do we suffer because of our intellect? It’s a matter of how we live.
We have to live a life that zigzags through intellect and nature equally. Living in extremes is an individual loss.
Imagine having knowledge that doesn’t accept boundaries in a conservative community. You’d be a minority at risk of being shunned for your views, even if they’re correct. Prejudice often keeps populations at a lower level of knowledge. You could be penalized for having a higher level of knowledge. History shows that brilliant people were sometimes killed because their knowledge wasn’t understood by the general population. Most religions and isms faced challenges in the beginning but made it harder for newer knowledge.
It’s all about the politics of power. When in power, opposition is suppressed, especially when the general population becomes educated and threatens a power shift. Today, chaos in the world is related to the shift in education via the internet. I know I’m an idealist, but I think no one should be on the wrong side of evolution. It’s ingrained in human beings because of God. Religions unsuccessfully set boundaries to contain us like seeds in a jar.
Human nature plays a role too. We naturally resist change. Our ego, which stems from a sense of belonging, blinds us to the importance of new knowledge or evolution. Pride and honor also play a role, especially when new changes prove old theories wrong.
If proven wrong, it means our ancestors were wrong too. Especially in religions, we fight amendments needed to function in a changing world. So we resist change and would rather take extreme steps to fight it. Our wars and hatred-related behaviors stem from this fundamentalism present in all human societies. If they indicate prejudice and oppose human rights, they’re all wrong, whether conservative groups, nations, religions, isms, or democratic systems.
We have to outgrow these boundaries and causes of extremes. We have to separate religions and personal feelings or losses like revenge and disputes over lands. If you can successfully do that, you’ll find most conflicts are expanded by the politics of involving more people. That’s why we’re all victims of politicians, so it’s essential to self-educate before chipping in with your knowledge. This collective knowledge has been around for millions of years but never really understood by people because it’s for humanity, not just your immediate groups.
The problem with following a group is that if you take strength and security from a gang or community, you have to give back and follow the rules. Those rules could conflict with personal ethics or individuality.
Individuals lose strength when politicians give fancy speeches to gain group strength. That’s why it’s crucial for individuals to be educated to make personal decisions or bring the right leaders to lead. This makes individuals stronger, but another problem arises. If taken to extremes, individual strength can have negative effects, like rust on the social fabric. In a community, you have to band together. Too many opinions can cause the community to fall apart, as seen worldwide from religious sects to dividing nations. I’ve seen several mosques in one neighborhood, and when I moved to Canada, I saw the same with churches. This isn’t unique; communities are divided like Ireland, Palestine, and Kashmir, with unresolved conflicts.
This is a dilemma for the so-called perfect solution to human problems. Even our modern democracy isn’t immune; politicians physically fight inside legislatures. So what to do and how to deal with it is the question?
Whether to strengthen the individual or the state? Either extreme isn’t acceptable for humanity because you can’t live being torn apart from the inside, especially if you love freedom. You can’t live alone, and if you can’t, you have to pay the price to mold yourself with the rules.
Freedom is natural for human beings, but so is the desire to live in a community. Thus, we all need individual flexibility, just like those alpha monkeys. We all need balance, not only to survive but to be useful to the belonging community and serve humanity in general.
Regardless of gender, as human beings, we all have to live this life as mortals. If you look at the modern-day life of single people, there’s a lot of pain due to social trends and a sense of belonging. For instance, you live around eighty years on average. The first twelve to fifteen are usually under your parents’ shelter. Say at eighteen, you get a boyfriend or girlfriend, have a good relationship for a year or two, followed by a breakup. You go through a dry period of three to five years, depending on the hurt and personality because some people never recover from the hurt.
If you keep going at that rate, you could spend a lot of time in pain and suffering just because you’re not looking at your life as a CEO. Is it a good deal for you personally as a mortal? You have to assess your personal life because you’re in charge.
Always remember it’s your personal business, and happiness is the cash. If you keep losing that cash, you need to make some major changes in your thinking. Other people have a say, but not to the extent that you spend all your cash and live a bankrupt life.
If you keep seeking approval from others, including your friends or societal trends, you may accumulate some regrets. So the sooner you take charge, the better. Become a CEO and understand what’s at stake. If you keep dumping every boyfriend or girlfriend, it means you’re always looking for the perfect one to come, and chances are you’ll live your life in deprivation.
Logically, you’re living your life on the horizon, which may not become a reality, and your time would be up. Is it good to gamble with your happiness? It’s a million-dollar happiness question. You have to ask yourself why. The founder of women’s liberation got married late in her sixties; maybe she finally realized that personal life is just as important as the causes you take on.
If you were born ten thousand years ago, would you have the same mentality? Or can you look at what’s coming ten thousand years later? Would you do the same thing with your life? Society has its trends; they come and go, but you lose very precious time that won’t come back. So place society in a department, but not as a whole business. You have to become the CEO of your life. If you’re unhappy, look at the causes of that unhappiness. Don’t let trends, friends, or even your sense of belonging rob or ruin your life. It’s your time, and you have a lot more say than you think.